Sunday, April 28, 2013

Me Against Me Against Me

I don't know about you, but my biggest enemy/hindrance in life is myself. When I've messed up, most have been quick to forgive, except myself. I never hold grudges, unless it's against myself. I hold myself to a standard that can never truly be attained for an extended period of time and it frustrates me to no end.

I made a realization recently that I am going to couple with a concept I have been chewing on for a while. It has to do with grace, grace for oneself. 

If all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), and if love is to cover a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), and if we are to love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31, Matthew 22:39; Jesus is talking about the two greatest commandments in which all other commandments are fulfilled. The first of these is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. The second is what we are talking about here.), then why is grace towards oneself so hard to grasp and put into practice?

How can we love others as deeply as we are made to if we cannot first learn to love ourselves? This isn't a selfish love I am talking about, for selfishness is a shallow self love that isn't truly love for oneself. Selfishness leads to mistakes which bring more pain and shame into the mix of everything and pushes others farther away. No, this love is something much deeper.

We need to learn to forgive and forget, not just towards others, but towards ourselves. I'd argue that it's more important to learn this towards yourself because if you can't first learn that to some degree, then it won't be as easy to love others the way we are supposed to. We are called to love our neighbor as our self, but if we cannot love our self then where will that leave us? Sure we can learn to forgive others quickly, but loving them may prove difficult if you are wallowing in guilt and self hate.

One of the hardest things to do is to love those who hate you. It's easy to love those who love you, but almost impossible to return kindness and love to those who mistreat you. But what if it's yourself you hate or mistreat by constantly being hard on yourself and withholding forgiveness from yourself?

I have been studying Luke lately and there is a passage that talks about what I just mentioned above. (Luke 6:27-36) It ends the passage with a command for us to be merciful as our Father is merciful to us.

Mercy is a difficult concept for it is something you give unwarranted. But by Jesus coming to earth to die, therefore paying the penalty for our shortfalls, the Father showed the greatest of mercies, for apart from Christ we can never attain perfection. This is a fact and when I refuse to show mercy to myself because of mistakes I make that I am predisposed to making (Romans 7:14-25), then I, in turn, refuse to accept the greatest of mercies that God gifted to me.

Do not get me wrong here, this is not something to be flippant about. (See Romans 6) Yes, Christ's sacrifice covers all our sin from birth to death, but this does not mean we make light of the sin that we do, nor should we keep on living as who we were before Christ. For just as He died and rose to life, so we too are dead to sin and alive anew in Christ. His example and love should lead us to repentance, a turning away from and death to our sin, and a striving for purity as Christ was pure. (1 John 3:3)

When we mess up, however, we must learn to forgive ourselves or we will never progress as believers. We will never be able to fully love as we were made to love in Christ Jesus. When we refuse to offer grace to ourselves, we deny the grace God extended through Christ Jesus that covers our multitude of sins. This must not be so.

Though it is a hard lesson to learn I have been trying to put it into practice and I encourage you to as well. To be able to wake up to a new day and say to yourself that God's mercies are new today (Lamentations 3:22-23), no matter what yesterday was like, and make the decision to extend yourself those mercies as well means to lift a huge weight of shame over a past you cannot change. Every day is a new slate, a chance to be that new creation in Christ Jesus instead of "the old self". (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Every day is a battle, but Christ never said it'd be easy. (Luke 9:23, Matthew 16:24) The battle is, and will be, very much worth it. You will have more joy and a peace that surpasses understanding when you try your best, while at the same time keep in mind you are still human and susceptible to sin. And due to that, choose also to extend to yourself grace. For that is why Christ came, because we could have never been good enough on our own so He showed us grace by standing in our place so that we could someday stand without fault before our Father in heaven.

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